Our Needs, Courtesy of Google

This is funny, especially for those who might be unaware of their needs. Just type "[Your name] needs" in Google to find out what you need.

Some of them are quite accurate. Here's what we need today:

Audrey needs more wooden spoons.
Audrey needs to stop being so freaking gorgeous.
Audrey needs to be willing to take on a leading role.
Audrey needs to have a huge range and a flexible voice.
Audrey needs to come back so she can prepare for her next client.
Audrey needs to learn a new facial expression.
Audrey needs to get a brain transplant.
Audrey needs at least 28 ounces of milk to keep her sanity.
Audrey needs to block harmful ultraviolet rays with an SPF.
Audrey needs treatment and a year in a women's halfway house.

Toren didn't need anything, according to Google.
I decided to search for Eric.

Eric needs cable.
Eric needs to keep up.
Eric needs a hug.
Eric needs medication.
Eric needs a timeout.
Eric needs about $3.50.
Eric needs mental help.
Eric needs ’92 Ford fenders.
Eric needs a better policy with regard to books.
Eric needs your help with childhood bladder and bowel problems.

And, of course...

Baxter needs a home.
Baxter needs public support.
Baxter needs ample social stimulation.
Baxter needs sleep.
Baxter needs a hobby.
Baxter needs to be institutionalized.